Pear Bulb Revolutionizes Clean Energy
Posted on 11/9/2016 by Chops
The ongoing hunt for clean renewable energy takes another gigantic step forward with the invention of the Pear Bulb. The company behind the product, We'll Try Anything, states that the inspiration for the device came from a week-long paint huffing bender.
"I was just huffing some wizard purple, I got hungry, and it came to me," explains WTA CEO Skeeter McDowell. "I stumbled to the fridge, grabbed me a pear, and a light bulb went off. I mean that literally by the way, a light bulb burnt out in the kitchen as I held the pear, so I disassembled the base and stuck it on the pear. Seemed like a swell idea at the time."
When asked for a detailed explanation of its energy savings, Skeeter noted, "Well, it doesn't actually do anything at the moment. When you stick it in a light socket, it just kind of smokes up a bit and singes the pear. And now that I think about it, I guess we could market this bugger as a pear cooker." He rubbed his chin and stared at the ceiling for twelve minutes before returning to a sack of wet paint.
Industry experts are hopeful.
Secretary of Energy Ernest Moniz was especially optimistic. "That is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard," he said when asked about the device. "Please don't print that nonsense. And if you do, at lease tell the public not to put pears in light sockets."
We will continue to monitor the progress of Pear Bulb technology. We also reached out to Halliburton for comment. A lovely lady by the name of Candice answered our call, sighed audibly, and hung up.