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Wednesday, October 18, 2017
You Won't Believe What Kim Kardashian Has Just Done
Posted on 9/29/2014 by Chops
Kim Kardashian, giving the camera her patented "I'm rich, pretty, and famous for, um, something" stare.

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That's right Kardashian fans, Kim has done something so unbelievably fascinating that you will be beside yourself in giddy disbelief.

The hair-raising, toe-curling, mind-blowing event happened when Kim was at home doing whatever the super rich and utterly worthless enjoy doing. According to our staff of celebrity stalkers, popular activities include shopping for designer dog purses, pondering clever nicknames for house cleaners, and posting perpetual lounging pictures on Instagram. Based on previous observations, we assume she was in the middle of an mirror-gazing marathon.

By modern plastic definition, Kim is beautiful. I'm not sure if you have gotten that memo yet, but Kim's beauty is the antithesis of what young women should aspire to, pursue at all costs, fail miserably at, and destroy any sense of self-worth while in the process.

Yes, it's true, Kim's hotter than a billy goat's ass in a pepper patch.

But we repeat, you simply will not believe what she has done now from within the confines of her posh, glamorous, glittery life of wonder.

Fun fact: did you know that when Kim walks down a hallway, glitter shoots from the water sprinklers? That's because she is so hot that fire refuses to be in the same room with her. She's super rich too, did we mention that? She hangs out with famous people, which makes her super duper cool and worthy of your undying envy.

Okay then, onto the insanely interesting thing she did. Hold on, let me get an article word count so I can justify my journalism degree and and let this meticulously groomed cat out of the bag. Hmm, almost there. A few more parting thoughts.

Kim's super hot. Kim's rich and interesting. Kim likes money, cloths and vacations. Words and more words, wordy words, filler words, words words words.

And here it is, the moment you have all been waiting for... Kim Kardashian, queen of bling, empress of excess, princess of privilege, has just [insert your favorite hackneyed rich-person activity that prompts ridicule or jealousy]. OMG! WOW!

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You Won't Believe What Kim Kardashian Has Just Done
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