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Fairly Imbalanced News
Wednesday, June 19, 2019
Baby Avalanche Devastates Rural Community
Posted by Chops
Visual approximation. Quantity of baby pile may vary.

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Michelle Duggar, matriarch of the prime-time television horror series 19 Kids and Counting, has given birth yet again.

An army of infants marched out of her cavernous vagina for a solid 36 hours, causing the hospital to swell and eventually explode. An avalanche of newborns engulfed the sleepy town of Tontitown, Arkansas in what could only be described as the 11th Plague. No babies were injured in the incident.

Doctors were initially baffled, but soon realized that Duggar's ovaries and uterus had finally gotten the message and decided to fertilize every egg in her body. Previous over-stretching allowed her give birth to a healthy crop of children, the quantity of which could populate a small country.

It's not yet clear how the Duggar family will care for the mass of children, which is now being referred to as A Tribe Called Questionable. Various ideas have been introduced, from starting their own sweat shop to shamelessly exploiting them via a reality television series.

We reached out to the Duggar family, who declined to comment on their willful ignorance of world resource issues due to overpopulation. Although unconfirmed, we are fairly certain that any comment would include the word ''Jesus''.

On a related note: soon after the incident, hospitals all over the county began filling up with patients suffering from head concussions. As it turns out, upon hearing the news, contraception advocates began violently facepalming themselves en masse.

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