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Wednesday, October 18, 2017
Mr. Bill Image Seen in Tree Stump, Worshipers Rejoice
Posted on 5/1/2014 by Chops
A religious group entitled the Mr. Bill Collective believes this is a sign from their glorious prophet.

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In what is being described as ''The Miracle in the Logging Camp'', a devout worshiper and member of the secretive Mr. Bill Collective has seen the prophet's glorious image in a downed tree stump.

''He came to me with a message,'' said believer and finder Horus Franklin. ''It is clear that He wants us to fight the radical tree agenda. These devil plants are consuming too much of our carbon dioxide and they must be stopped.''

''Billites across the globe have been mobilized,'' said pastor Biff Barkly. ''We are acquiring weapons of mass sawing and will fight this threat head on.''

It is difficult to quantify followers of the Mr. Bill Collective due to their illusive natures. They worship in secret and have intricate initiation rituals. A previous investigation put their global total between 3 and 5. That study was conducted two years ago and with the most recent stump sighting, it is quite possible that their numbers have exploded into the low two digits.

All environmental groups have been notified about this new deforestation threat.

''We will hunt them down and bring them to justice,'' says a moderately stoned tree-hugging hippie. It is not yet clear whether or not the hippie army can mobilize in time.

Mr. Bill was a clay figurine clown that appears in Saturday Night Live sketches back in the 1970's. When and why the figure was elevated to deity status remains a mystery.

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Mr. Bill Image Seen in Tree Stump, Worshipers Rejoice
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